Alex, Eagle, and The Bees
by Writer With Sprite
Summary: Summary: Eagle and Alex have The Talk. Only this time, Alex is the one telling Eagle about the birds and the bees. Until Fox interrupts them, that is. One-shot.


Alex, Eagle, and The Bees  
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Summary: Eagle and Alex have The Talk. Only this time, Alex is the one telling Eagle about the birds and the bees. Until Fox interrupts them, that is. One-shot.

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Fourteen-year-old Alex Rider was bored. Oh, he was grateful for the rare free time at the SAS camp, true, but he was bored. He was very glad he was only getting two weeks of training. He couldn't imagine having ten weeks of this. No wonder why Wolf was still cranky.

He still wasn't ready to forgive Wolf for calling him a 'pain in the ass', though. Why had Wolf done that, again? Alex was really too tired to remember.

"Hey, Cub," Eagle said. He put down his book in front of him and took a sip of his coffee. He had no way to know that Wolf had requested the café workers to switch it to decaf after a certain time of night, "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Alex growled as he turned around to look at Eagle, who had placed his book title-side up. He glanced in amusement at Eagle and questioned, "Why are you reading about bees?" he asked.

"Because I like learning about insects," Eagle responded. He glanced at Cub. "Okay, okay; if you want the truth, it's because I like learning about different ways to kill insects."

"You're so kind," Alex idly drawled. He picked up the book, thumbed through it, and put it back down again almost instantly. "Eagle," he said, giving his team-mate a scalding look that would have even impressed Wolf, "That is not about bees." He wasn't actually talking about the book itself-from what he could tell, that was about bees – but rather the magazine inside it, which was certainly not about bees.

"So?" Eagle said with a shrug. "The outside book is about bees," he said.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you act like a bird brain?" Alex grumbled. Then his face perked up instantly. "I just thought of something," he said suddenly, flashing a smile on his face.  
>"What?" Eagle asked. He didn't know if he should be grateful that Cub had started to smile, or worried.<p>

"Your name is for an Eagle, right?" Alex said, a big grin forming on his face. He knew exactly where he was going with this, even if Eagle didn't. "An eagle is a bird, right? And you're reading about bees. Well, you're pretending too, anyway."

"Right…" Eagle said, confused, not even attempting to follow the kid's point.

"Well, so by being a bird, and reading about the bees, that means you're giving away what you were reading inside the magazine!" Alex said. He slapped himself on the forehead. "I should have known," he responded dramatically. All the acting he had done with Tom Harris and around the teachers had finally started to pay off.

The look on Eagle's face was priceless; the SAS member was totally confused. "The birds and the bees?" he said, as if he'd never heard that expression before in his life. Which, knowing Eagle… Maybe he'd never used an expression that clean before in his life. "I don't understand. How does an Eagle relate to bees?" he responded.

Alex couldn't help it; he burst out laughing. The laughter bellowed into the K-Unit's hut and would have made Wolf annoyed if the man was awake. "You don't know what the birds and the bees are?" he asked, finally calming down after a good two minutes of breathless laughter.

"Should I?" Eagle returned, this time more cautiously. Maybe all that sugar was stunting his growth; he felt like he couldn't really think. He paused. "Well, I know what birds are, and I know what bees are – I'm reading about them right now!"

Alex died of laughter once more. He really could not help the tears that streamed down his face. "Do you know what they mean when they put them together?"

"Sure," Eagle responded, and Alex raised an eyebrow. "They mean… Birds eat bees?"

"No, Eagle!" Alex couldn't help himself from letting loose a loud chuckle. "The birds and the bees refer to sex! That's what your hidden book is about, by the way!"

"It is not about that!" Eagle said hotly as he snatched the book from out of Alex's hands. K-Unit had been at camp nearly five weeks and they hadn't noticed his Playboy book; Alex had been there all of three days and had noticed it. He'd hoping that by pretending to be innocent on the 'Birds and the Bees' topic, Alex would drop the subject.

Alex hooted as he attempted to grab the book out of Eagle's hands. "Let me just show you…" he said, grinning all the meanwhile as he looked at the book. He was very happy to be able to tease one of the K-Unit about something – it would finally pay them back.

Somewhat.

"No way, Cub!" Eagle retorted, desperate for one last hope, "This is my personal diary!"

"Oh, oh!" That did it for Alex, who fell down on the ground. His red shirt touched the green grass and he couldn't help but gasp with laughter. "You're going to have… to tell Wolf that one. The next thing I know, you're going to tell me you don't know what sex is."

Fox came out of the hut at that exact minute, wearing his MI6 t-shirt that he'd managed to snag from a training session. "Cub, you don't know what sex is? Don't worry, Eagle and I can fill you in, right, Eagle?"

"Uh, yeah," Eagle responded, trying to look authoritative towards Alex, "Of course we can! Let me tell you about sex, Alex…"

"No, no, no," Alex responded. He had finally managed to stop laughing. "Not sex," he said, "The birds and the bees."


End file.
